


I Can't Stay

by CarnivalofBrokenDolls (yourrhinestoneeyes)



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Ed is handling what happened as well as he can, M/M, a bit of angst, hurt with little comfort, sad fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-11
Updated: 2016-11-11
Packaged: 2018-08-30 09:54:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8528602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourrhinestoneeyes/pseuds/CarnivalofBrokenDolls
Summary: Ed can't stay in Gotham, there's too many pain and misery filling the city, and filling his own head for him to trust himself to stay.





	

**Author's Note:**

> With all the new set photos and the plot for a future episode being released I came up with another idea for things that could happen between Ed and Oswald.

If Oswald had known this was the way things would end up, then he never would have killed her. 

“Ed you don’t understand.”

The taller man stopped, his body tensed, he turned on his heels to glare down at the dark-haired man. He quickly advanced on him and Oswald feared yet hoped that Ed would punch him, he would deserve it.

“I don’t know if I even want to understand.”

“I helped you, I saved your life by having that woman killed. We both know Isabella wasn’t who she claimed to be.”

It was true. Dr. Strange in hiding had been working with Fish and Clayface to rain down Hell on their enemies, Isabella had been a clone created to drive Ed into pure insanity. She was supposed to drive him to killing her, but Oswald had intervened and the clone had been unstable.

“So now you’re back to claiming to be the hero here, I should be thanking you for saving me, is that it?”

The smaller man was quiet, he had to break eye contact with Ed for a moment. The hurt and angered look in those deep brown eyes was making him realize just how stupid and selfish his motives had been.

“Tell me Oswald, when did you find out she was a clone?”

“Ed you alrea- “

“Tell me” he snapped interrupting the older man.

Oswald flinched at the sound of Ed’s voice, there was such a bare annoyance in it.

“I found out she was a clone after you told me.”

“Which means you went and hired Gabe to kill the woman I was falling in love with, if she hadn’t been a clone or anything else….You had her killed, why?”

“I did it, because I love you. I love you and I didn’t want you throwing your life and potential away on some woman who looked like the girl you murdered.”

Ed didn’t look disgusted or enraged, his features softened leaving him with a saddened look. Oswald noticed how his posture seemed to relax, all anger leaving his thin body. All of the times and ways he wanted to tell him those three words and it had to be in this way, this was not the way he wanted things to turn out.

“You killed her, because you’re in love with me?”

“Yes, I did it for you.”

It sounded stupid, it sounded selfish.

“You can’t do that; you can’t kill people I love just because they take me away from you.”

“I thought you would have the sense to leave her, but that obviously didn’t work out.”

He knew he should stop, but he couldn’t get himself to.

“If you really loved me you would trust me, you would trust me to decide for myself. If you thought she posted a threat to me then you would have told me plainly, but no. You went behind my back, you tried to have her killed. You made me look like an idiot.”

Oswald took a step towards the other man, he reached out wanting to place an assuring hand on his arm, but Ed pulled away before he could touch him.

“I’m sorry” he whispered

“I am too, I thought you were someone who cared about me and my well-being. I thought you were my friend and that I could trust you with anything. I can’t do this; we can’t do this.”

“So what, you’re just going to leave?”

“Yes” he answered simply, Ed averted his eyes no longer able to look the smaller man in the eye.

“You can’t just leave”

“Yeah I can”

“Please don’t leave me, we can sit and we can talk about this.”

He felt pathetic pleading with him this way, the tears that were welling up blurring his vision made him feel beyond weak. Ed was looking at him again, he had to find him disgusting being this pathetic. It startled him when the taller man placed a hand against his cheek, Ed brushed away the tears that fell from his eyes.

“You can’t force somebody into being with you, you can’t trick me into loving you, or take away my options.”

“Please don’t go”

Oswald placed a hand over Ed’s hoping that he could hold him there just a little bit longer. The coddling softness in his friend’s voice worsened his sadness and his fear.

“I have to, I can’t stay here with you. I’ll come back, I promise, but for now I need away from you and Gotham in general. There are things that I need to work out for myself and that can’t happen if I stay here with you and pretend that what you did was fine. Believe me Oswald I want to justify what you did, I want to believe it was okay and justifiable, but I can't. I have to go"”

Oswald hated this, deep down he completely understood why this was happening and that it was for the best. It was just that for the most part he couldn’t handle this; he couldn’t handle the thought of not having Ed with him. He’d become so accustomed to having his right-hand man, having this constant presence by his side

“You said you promise to come back, I’m holding you to that.”

The taller man smiled sweetly, he still had his hand pressed against his cheek.

“I’m counting on that,” Ed leaned down placing a kiss against Oswald’s forehead.

He stood there with his lips against his skin and their bodies so close to one another, both of them wanted more, but Ed didn’t want to break his promise to himself. He was going to leave the toxic waste known was Gotham and with distance he was going to figure out exactly where he wanted things to stand between himself and Oswald.

“Do you have to leave now?”

“Yes”

“I wish you wouldn’t, I understand, but perhaps you can stay the night.”

He wanted to offer him something, he felt like he was so close to having him or losing him forever. If Ed walked out that door then there was a high chance he wouldn’t come back, there was a chance he would never return his love or hold him like this again. Oswald just wanted to prolong something he didn’t quite have, something he was growing sure he might never have.

“I don’t trust myself enough to do that.” Ed responded, he placed a hand against the smaller man’s hip holding him close to him.

Oswald wanted nothing more than to kiss him, he needed to kiss him.

“You don’t trust me?”

The taller man gave him a crooked smile as he looked down at him, “I wish I did, I used to trust you with my life.”

He’d had him, he’d had his trust and his adoration; he’d had it back when he didn’t realize how important it was. He hadn’t realized how hard it was for somebody like Ed to trust and to love without fear of betrayal.

“I’m sorry”

“I know, but I really must go. I promise I’ll see you again.”

Another quick kiss against his forehead and Ed was pulling away from him. He was turning his back to him and heading towards the large front door. 

Oswald wanted to run after him, in his mind he could picture himself grabbing him, turning him to face him, and kissing him. He wanted to pin him against the door, he wanted to show him just how dedicated he was to him. He was ready to dedicate his entire being to Ed, he wanted to listen to his stupid riddles, and his dumb facts about penguins. He wanted everything that he loved and that he hated about his friend, but instead he stood completely still. He watched as Ed went outside, he watched the door go closed behind him, and after the resounding click he found himself letting out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

He could feel the ghost of lips against his skin, a hand against his cheek, and the hot breath of a lover he never had to begin with. It wasn’t until now that Oswald realized how terrifyingly empty his home was.


End file.
